As this is a fairly random compilation of songs, I'll present my thoughts in a compiled list form that I probably won't spellcheck.
- Once again, I had a brutal art experience specifically before @thatpinguino's pick. This time, it was the 1993 movie Fearless with Jeff Bridges and Rosie Perez. It's a movie about a friendship that forms between two people who survive a plane crash. Jeff, having gone through the mental acceptance of dying during the crash, feels like he's invincible and Rosie's racked with guilt and sadness because her son died in the wreck. It's not a perfect movie, but it's a very nuanced and penetrative exploration of grief and it hit me like a train filled with sledgehammers. So yeah, I was down for a Pokémon album.
- Where I'm at with Pokémon: I'm 32. Pokémon was the defining fad of my childhood. I had the games, the cards, the toys, the clothes, the VHSs, the this, the that, and a third. I fell off sometime between Pokémon: The First Movie coming out and when they introduced all the new Pokémon past the original 150. I just hit a wall and it was time to move on. (I gave away all my cards. REGRET THE FUCK OUT OF THAT NOW!) But I always had a soft spot for it. As a kid, I loved the notion that, in this universe, instead of going to school or getting a job, you can just wander the planet with your friends and get into adventures with your cute Pokémon pals. Later I'd make the snarky connection between Pokémon battles and dog fighting, but I still thought the roaming hobo Pokémon life sounded romantic. There's a part of me that still does. All of this is to say that I'm not a Pokémon guy and haven't been in decades, but I hope you're having fun Pokémon fans!
- So the album... it's fascinating. Good? I don't know. But as an artifact, as something that exists, it's a truly bizarre collection of mostly bubblegum-y electro-pop and pop rap songs.
- The pop songs are all "We're going to do this together!" and "I love you!" and "They're going to try to stop you, but keep pushing!" and other general vague aphoristic nothings. On the surface, they don't have anything to do with Pokémon. But if my memory serves me correctly, that perfectly mirrors the writing on the show. The gang stops Team Rocket from fucking with a herd of Bulbasaurs or whatever, Ash gives some semi-related speech about the power of friendship, and roll credits. Or I'm being an asshole and remembering it wrong. Either way, the album's supposed to be a celebration of 25 years of Pokémon, so really, anything poppy and dancy technically fits? I guess?
- I have not heard of most of the pop artists. Katy Perry, yes, but I had never heard of Mabel or Cyn or Louane and so on. No shade or anything. It just contrasts with the fact that I do know every rapper on here, and the thing is...
- ...all the rappers (except for Tierra Whack, who didn't contribute a rap song anyway, more on her later) namedrop a ton of Pokémon and clearly know their shit. (The only pop star singer who came close was Louane, but she only mentions Gameboys and not a Pokémon.) Insert grad school paper on the intersection of race, class, millennials, the turn of the century, anime, Pokémon, and extra credit if you make a point about how it's probably easier to rap Pokémon names and be taken seriously than it is to sing them. I'm tired and this post is already too long.
- Was most curious to see what Vince Staples was going to do. Vince typically raps about poverty and violence, so I had no idea how that was going to translate into a Pokémon album. Turns out he rapped about... poverty and violence! He just did it without any swears, overt references to guns, and over a poppy beat. Gotta love it.
- J Balvin rhymed "cash" with "Ash" so he wins the album.
- I love Tierra Whack. She's a particularly gifted lyricist and everything she does oozes with creativity and weirdness (in a good way). Her song on here is a little pop song about going to get inspiration at an art show. Pokémon is a children's entertainment IP and this is the most kid song on here. I don't know if I like it. I probably do. But I can't get it out of my head.
- Post Malone's contribution to the album is a cover of Hootie and the Blowfish's "Only Wanna Be With You." I have no idea why the fuck this is here. Even by cloying Pokémon writing standards, this is such a bizarre thing to do. Also it turns out the lyrics to "Only Wanna Be With You" are mostly the band being Bob Dylan stans. Who knew?
- Trombone Shorty, a fairly big artist in the New Orleans jazz scene, is on the ZHU remix of Vince Staples's song. Just another head-scratcher in a long line of them. Good for him for getting that check.
And that's what I got. There's nothing terrible on here, save for maybe the Post Malone Hootie and the Blowfish cover. But "I Only Wanna Be With You" is a bad song no matter who's performing it and how. There's nothing you'll hate, but there's nothing you'll love either. But that's not why you're here. You're here to occasionally say, "Wait, what!?" and then move on with your life once you've spent enough time pondering this album's existence. But there are worse ways to spend your time, and hell, I just added a second SSRI to my mental health regimen so I had fun. Sometimes you just want candy.
Favorite songs: "Believing" "Ten Cuidado" "Got 'Em" (Mainly because these are the songs that namedrop Pokémon the most)
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